


Admiral Calavicci's Playboy Interview

by dana_kujan



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1995-01-02
Updated: 1995-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-05 16:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dana_kujan/pseuds/dana_kujan





	Admiral Calavicci's Playboy Interview

[transcript, continued from page 64]

So, you want to talk about my conquests. Well, I wouldn't call them that. Necessarily. I mean, most of the time I'm not even looking for it. Really. I'm not! They just sort of come to me.

I don't know. Maybe it's the astronaut thing, or the uniform. Or the Italian thing. Sometimes, it's just... fate.

Like the phone calls. As far back as I can remember, I've gotten obscene phone calls. [laughs] Well, I don't consider them obscene, but they would give the FCC a run for it's money. I guess you could say I'm the mac daddy of phone sex.

I have no idea. It's never the same voice twice. I don't think it's a stalker, if that's what you mean. I've never kept the same phone number for more than two years.

It started with the common phone at the Academy. There were about two dozen of us all sharing the same line. I was about twenty years old, barely. I still remember the voice: a husky, lived-in purr, like Kathleen Turner. I figured it was one of my dad's old flames. She was friendly at first, but it didn't take long before... did I mention I was nineteen? [clears throat]

Since then, there have been other women. And men. What? I'm not ashamed to admit that. And DADT is history. [chuckles] Anyway, it's just a voice on the phone, right? Guys talk about sex together all the time, right?

Smart ass. I mean, they get together and talk about sex. No harm there, just a couple of guys talking about sex. Together. A lot.

Hung up? What the hell would I want to do that for? After a while, I looked forward to it, like a kid wishing for a pony. When would it happen? Would it be the next call, or the next? What kind of voice would it be? It was better than gambling!

No, I told you, it couldn't be a stalker. The same person? All this time? I don't think so. They would have to be a huge talent. To sound like an older woman in 1955, then a Liverpudlian in 1964, then a giggly teenage girl in Harlem. A range like that would require Meryl Streep or, I don't know, someone who could--

[long pause] Excuse me. I'm fine! Excuse me, please. I've got to see a man about some leaps.


End file.
